Failure of the badass life coach
I’m writing this mini blog series to highlight why vulnerability, honesty and failure is really important to talk about amongst us all – even those who provide support functions to others. We’ve had the wonderful Suzy Reading and her efforts to find self care, the brilliant Suzy Ashworth and where her mindset work has taken her in both good and difficult directions and my old friend Emily Graves on her own yoga practice now that she’s a yoga teacher.
Now I’d like to introduce you to the fantastic Mary Meadows, aka Badass Life Coach.
Mary shares with us her ethos about what being badass really means and why shame is such an important thing to get talking about.
I hope these contributions provide authentic guidance on how many of us, practitioners, consumers, whomever we are, simply take chances every day – striving not for perfection but for acceptance in the life we’re leading and the one we want to get to. This, for me, is actually the epitome of gentle living – being in alignment with who we are, having compassion for our chosen path and making bold decisions that are right for us even in times of uncertainty.
Let’s hear from Mary…
Q1. Your ethos is all about supporting women to help them feel good about themselves in all areas of their lives (and be badass!) – where did this come from?
Over the last 3 years I have coached many women (and quite a few men!) pretty much all of them have the belief that everyone else has their shit together and they are the only ones that don’t. We have an intimate knowledge of ourselves on the inside, but we only see a snapshot of everyone else. So I like to challenge that belief! Help people to see that everyone else struggles too, there is no ‘ta-dahhh’ moment, no adult certificate coming your way, this is a life long adventure in knowing ourselves and creating the best life we can, knowing that that is good enough.
Q2. Where do you feel you succeed in being a badass the most in your life now?
I think the most successful area of my life is the company I keep. I no longer hang out with the ‘drains’ only the ‘radiators’. People who lift me up, cheerleaders for the days I cannot shake my pom poms for myself. People I can say a real ‘no’ to, and they are still my friend and love me a little bit more because I don’t say yes when I mean no.
Q3. Although of course we want to celebrate successes, I’d love to know where you feel you ‘fail’ in the very things you teach, and what you might learn from this?
Ooooo this is a fabulous question, and I LOVE a great question. I spend a lot of time speaking at events, workshops and 1-2-1 coaching around our digital world, and how to manage it. I have a very deliberately healthy relationship with the digital elements of my life, however we are still working all this stuff out! The iPhones and laptops come with a manual of how to technically work these things, but it does not come with a manual for how to manage it well within our lives, how to set boundaries for example. I love failing, I do it every day, and every time I learn a little bit more about myself.
Q4. What do you think we could all learn from knowing that even experts or gurus don’t have it all together all of the time?
Not even Oprah has her shit together! Self compassion is key to living life, and the part that we often forget to focus on is that part of showing ourselves compassion is remembering that everything we experience both positive and negative is a shared human experience, it helps to remember this at all times. Might have to get it tattooed on my forehead….
Q5. What’s the one thing you think we can all do to feel more badass? Be ok with liking what you like.
Shame is a particularly unhelpful feeling and one where we can make the most difference with, letting the shame go. I like 80’s pop music, Bananarama is one of my favourite groups, definitely not cool, showing my age, and not a popular choice. But most people I know, know that I like Bananrama and I have no shame in saying so. Previous to my coaching life, I would have kept this a secret, feeling shame if anyone caught me singing a long…so shout it loudly, whatever it is that you like!
Mary is the Badass Life Coach, specialising in powering up peoples mental health. I give people clarity, focus, acceptance, reassurance and a strong belief that they can indeed live their best life (whatever that looks like for them)
You can find her here:
Insta https://www.instagram.com/marybadassmeadows/