Failure of the confidence coach

In today’s blog I’m very excited to introduce you to Jodie, one half of the duo Violet and Charlie. I asked Jodie to answer the questions others have done so far to hear more about her take on success and failure and how this might help others she supports. To hear more about the ‘Prettys’ that I refer to in my own questions to Jodie, you can take a look at the Violet and Charlie site and socials referenced at the end.

Interested in sharing your thoughts on success and failure and how this helps you (and others), get in touch to join the series: emily@coachingemily.wpengine.com

Let’s hear from Jodie and her take on where she wins and wins less at this confidence and success stuff…

Inspired to think differently or take action as a result of these refreshing views?

Amazing.

Do it.

What’s to stop you now?

Q1. Your ethos is all about supporting women to build themselves up without feeling like they’re not enough in the first place – where did this come from?

We’ve both been through a lot of shit between us and had to fight our way through it the hard way! (see our stories on violetandcharlie.com). We don’t want it to be that way for other women.

Plus, between us we’ve got 30 years+ experience in leadership development and behavioural psychology so it made sense as we have the evidence, theory and the practical application to make it happen. Two years ago we were surviving the corporate rat race and feeling unfulfilled – we met a lot of women struggling too in the corporate space and that’s where we realised there was a gap for what we could do.

Also, whenever to took on a piece of work together and delivered conference events for big organisations as a ‘double act’ we’d get amazing feedback on how great we were but more importantly, on how fresh and different we were from all the ‘grey’ corporate bullshit training and coaching that’s out there – we found our USP!

Lastly, I’m a mother to three daughters and Chloe also has one too and so it was super important to us to bring them up to be strong, happy and fulfilled girls and we want to leave a legacy for them – that’s our purpose, that’s our why and what gets us out of bed every morning.

Q2. Where do you feel you succeed in any of your own seven ‘Prettys’ the most in your life now? 

My two strengths lie in Pretty Confident and Pretty Tough. In terms of Pretty Confident, my thirties has allowed me to grow into my own space and get comfortable with who I am. I don’t need anyone to make me happy – I rely on myself to do that. I’m clear on my purpose and what I want to achieve. I’m happy and comfortable in my own skin and I finally feel competent and skilled to live a really successful and fulfilling life.

In the context of Pretty Tough I used to be a bit of a doormat but I’ve developed my skills to become highly assertive. I have the ability to say no when I don’t want to do something and I’m super confident and competent in having a difficulty conversation – in the right way.

The last couple of years I’ve been able to develop my resilience, tenacity, grit and discipline – all by learning HOW to do it and purposefully practising it.

Chloe would match me in Pretty Confident and her other strength when it comes to our secrets would be Pretty Fit – she is super healthy, physically fit and works hard at honing her skills and practice at being mentally fit through mindfulness practice.

We’re both pretty shit hot at Pretty On It too, through developing our own “Fuck It Philosophy!”

Q3. Although of course we want to celebrate successes, I’d love to know where you feel you ‘fail’ in your own 7 Prettys and what you might learn from this?

OK, we’re both not great at planning and organisation and balancing work and life sometimes – we tend to drop a few balls because we fly by the seat of our pants! This would be a ‘Pretty On It’ development area. The good news is we know where our gaps are and we accept them – we don’t chase the notion of perfect. We simply surround ourselves with great people who plug those gaps for us.

Q4. What do you think we could all learn from knowing that even experts or gurus don’t have it all together all of the time?

I think it’s a mindset shift and an acceptance that we’re all f**king human and not robots!!

This means learning to become less judgemental and more compassionate – not just of other people, but of ourselves too. We believe it’s good for you to cut yourself some slack and not to beat yourself up about stuff that either doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to or didn’t get done. Big deal!

What’s important is that we take time out to reflect, observe ourselves and make informed choices about whether we want to do something differently, or not as the case may be – it’s about making those decisions with your happiness at the core.

Q5. What’s the one thing you think we can all do to give ourselves a huge boost?

Laugh your feckin socks off as often as possible!!!!!! Like really laugh, belly laugh, until it makes you cry! At least once a day. We have that as one of our business KPI’s. Life’s too short to take yourself too seriously. There’s plenty of neuroscientific evidence to support this too in terms of reducing stress and the release of cortisol; it reduces and is replaced by dopamine which is a ‘feel good’ chemical.

More about Violet and Charlie:

Violet and Charlie get women living the happy and fulfilling life they deserve through their funky, no shit, seven “pretty” secrets training and coaching. They’re two northern, down to earth women with a great sense of humour, that push boundaries and drink far too much gin and Prosecco. They live by the values of Accountability, Trust, Humility, Love & Laughter and Work Hard, Play Hard. They bring this to the world through an online members club making it accessible for ALL from the comfort of your own sofa, 24/7 at a budget to suit all women as well as putting on great events e.g. workshops and boot camps as well as one to one and small coaching groups.

Facebook/Instagram @violetandcharlie

Twitter @violetcharlieuk

Also remember, if you’re interested in sharing your thoughts on success and failure and how this helps you (and others), get in touch to join the series: emily@coachingemily.wpengine.com